But don’t you worry
All those dainty and dirty emotions
Just go away and fade out on their own.

I am supposed to be lesson planning, but I can’t stop watching live Neutral Milk Hotel videos on YouTube. This started after referencing Neutral Milk Hotel’s Naomi in my previous post. In the habit of deconstructing my cravings–in this caseJeff Mangum’s voice, words, face, and all that is in consequence of his voice, words and face–I have come to the conclusion that he affirms a romantic ideal that a man can embody the kind of emotional depth to the level I, with an acutely heightened emotional imagination, can imagine… and that that man is capable of communicating such depth, along with all its tangling tributaries, with artistry, concentratedly, painfully, beautifully, undiluted, unapologetically, without practicality nor self-consciousness as if the transmission in itself is as vital and instinctive as an exhale. Natural, real and truthful–containing no lies or omissions. Because what we feel and what we do with what we feel is the most important thing in life, I need to listen to Oh Sister for the 50th time and watch a host body, Jeff Mangum, deliver the messy and majestic gift of feeling.  I just love how he loves.