Buy Nuttin Day
November 24, 2006
This past Wednesday during my lunch break I had errands to run. Pancake, my canine life partner, was in dire need of a shampoo and, in order to avoid weeks of a clogged tub and no response from the landlord, I set out to buy an assortment of drain stopper thingies and dog shampoo. I headed to 6th avenue, immediately before 23rd street, which is heavily populated with chain stores, including my destination… Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Through the revolving door I dizzily enter the chaos of Beyond. With products dangling from every inch of the tall walls and a maze-like floor plan, the place can be a bit overwhelming. That’s when it hits me, Christmas music. It seems to speed up all the shoppers around me and propel them into frantic shopping mode. Their wild eyes hunting, their baskets revved, distorted Burl Ives ricocheting through each’s ear like some infectious contagion of consumerism. I calm myself, resisting the pace of the store, walk slowly through the store’s halls and attempt to stay focused. You need to go to the bath area towards the back. Remember, where you bought your yoga mat the last time you were here, like years ago. Yes, when you had just moved and needed a shower caddy. Stay calm. No! You don’t need that. Does that look like a drain stopper to you? In the end I survive. I got my drain thingies and a can opener, fearful of the strange ways Joey had started to open cans after our’s broke, and crept to the express line register which was covered head-to-toe with P.O.P. displays. The cashier monotonously wished me a happy holiday like she had the two customers before me.
I wanted to take her hand and free her from her post, together we’d run out of that retail hell and catch the M6 giddy with our escape. After subltly motioning to her, Dirty Boots video style, towards the exit she called the next customer to her in a sigh. I left her.
As I exited the store the march of the busy street seemed calmer and Burl Ives faded away. I realized it would not have even registered-Christmas being a month or so away- had I never entered the Beyond…
Today is the official start of the holiday shopping season. The perfect reason to buy nuttin today. Buy nuttin tomorrow, too.
